A New Year, A Blank Page?

Every year on New Year's Day, I sound like a broken record.  There is just something about that day that changes my mood into one of melancholy.  I've never been able to pinpoint the cause.  Nothing significant has happened to me in the past that would bring about this repetitive feeling.

Yet there it is.  Every year.

The ending of this past year should have been cause of celebration, right?  I mean, what could be worse than 2020?  Enter 2021.

(Ha!  I'm not really that pessimistic.)

The thing is there really is nothing magical about January 1 of any year.  We have a tendency to get past the hustle and bustle of the holidays and feel like it's time to start over.  Pull out a blank piece of paper.  Open up a fresh new journal.  Erase the troubles of the past year. 

The truth is that each year (and each month and each day) has its joys and sorrows.  We were never promised all good all of the time, and when we put that expectation on ourselves, on our circumstances, and on other people, we are truly disappointed.

It goes without saying that 2020 was a hard year.  The coronavirus, political angst, and racial issues brought out the worst in many.  It truly was an eye-opening year to see where our friends and families drew the line in the sand and showed what lies in their hearts.  It was discouraging, sad, and often times heartbreaking.  These issues alone brought feelings of isolation, fear, and concern over the unknown, leading to more anxiety and depression than already exists in our communities.

Personally, I also have to add in the deaths of two loved ones in the last quarter of the year. Totally blown away by these events that shook me.  A lot.

Then 2021 rolled in.  More political angst, and then the death of a beautiful young woman whom I loved.  We're only 23 days into this year as family and friends gather today to celebrate her life, and I'm isolated at home for another day due to a COVID-19 exposure.

Doesn't sound very positive, does it?

But we have to flip the coin and look at the rest of the story.

2020 brought more togetherness with those under our roofs (Good or bad!).  It brought out a bit more creativity by taking away our busy schedules, places we love to visit, and restaurants we enjoy eating at.  Most of us gained an appreciation for others -- for being able to gather together, whether at church, around the dinner table, or at a baseball game. (Oh, to get to see our Cardinals play again!)  And some of us found a love for working at home.

For our family, we also had the joy of two moves: moving out of our old home and into an apartment and then from the apartment to our "forever" house that felt like home from Day 1.  It was a lot of moving in a 4-month time frame, but it was worth it.  We also have the excitement of a new great-nephew joining our family soon.  We could also add in having time to write letters or mail cards to others, having more time to read a good book and digging into the Bible more, playing games together, walking around our neighborhoods more, and catching up on Netflix.  

Good and bad happens.  The thing is if I wrap all of my emotions up into what happens to me, I will be miserable.  Has the last year been hard, scary, sad? Absolutely!  

But there has been blessing, too.  Why?  Because God is still with us.  Knowing Jesus is what gives me hope, because I know that he is always there, always in control, is never taken by surprise, and promises to be with me.

Paul of the Bible didn't have it easy.  His ministry was fraught with hardship, yet he was still able to write these words in Philippians 4:4-14: 

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.

"I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.  Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it.  I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know that it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.  Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles."

How could Paul have had that peace in all circumstances?  Because he knew Jesus.  Even after Paul had worked to stop the spread of Christianity by killing Christians, Jesus revealed himself to Paul and he believed.  The scales had been removed from his eyes and he saw Jesus for who he is: the Son of God, our redeemer.  

Has Jesus been calling out to you?  "If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved" (Romans 10:9-10).

So as we finish up the first month of this new year, I pray to remember in all circumstances that God is the solid rock in which I stand.  The world will shake and rattle me, but he is my ever-present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46)

 

A Book in Hand

My 2020 goals have been written down and are now official!  I won't bore you with the details, at least not all of them.  However, each year I make a reading goal...and I will bore you with that!

Normally, I hop onto Goodreads and record the number of books I hope to read that year.  That's the extent of my goal-setting.  In 2019, I planned to read 45 books.  Instead, I managed to read 69!  What the heck?  

(My disclaimer: when I say "read" I am also including listening to audiobooks.  It counts.  This book nerd will always prefer to hold a book in her hands, but I also don't like wasting a 45+ minute commute...that's a lot of listening time.  I also always have an e-book ready on my phone for those times when I have a quiet lunch by myself or am waiting for someone/something.  It's not uncommon for me to have three books going at once.)

While considering my 2020 reading goals, I felt a need to dive into content more this year.  I admit to reading a lot of junk that doesn't take much thought.  This is not a dig on fluff books; they serve a purpose.  One purpose is to help me decompress without having to always be in "heavy thinking" mode.  These books will not be removed from my reading this year, but they will not be as plentiful.

Instead of raising the number of books I plan to read this year, I made a very deliberate list based on the idea of an A-to-Z Reading Challenge.  For those paying attention, that means I made a list of 26 books to read in 2020.  

Huh?  Not enough. 

Probably not, but this is not an exhaustive list of what I will read either.  It is, however, my priority list.  Anything else is just a bonus!

Mark Twain said (maybe), "If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning.  And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."

I try to follow this idea when tackling my to-do list at home or at work: get the hardest or more intimidating thing done first; then you can go through the rest of the day knowing the worst is behind you.

Although I'm not considering reading a task that I dread, some of the books on my to-read list have been there for a long time...like for a decade.  That's how Mere Christianity became the first book I wrote down in my list.  It's not because I don't want to read the book.  However, I know it's not fluff, and it will require some actual thinking on my part...so I keep putting it off.  

Several years back, my hubby bought a hardback copy for me...and I still put it on the shelf.  And waited.  And waited.  Today, I read the first chapter.  It's my frog on my reading list.

Others on my list could also be considered my frogs, but I'm excited about this year's goal.  I may not read a book a week, but I'm ready to tackle my list.  And, yes, I'm going to share it with you, too, but you have to promise not to judge all of my choices.

Happy Reading to You!  And consider making 2020 a year that you challenge yourself by reading something you may not normally read.  I have several of those on my list as well.

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My comments in () refer to a genre or attribute of a book that I used to help round out my reading list so I wouldn't get stuck on the same types of books.

What I Plan to Read in 2020:

A Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery (restarting the series)

B Becoming by Michelle Obama (Autobiography)

C Conversation Peace by Mary Kassian (Spiritual Growth/on my bookshelf)

D Don’t Go by Lisa Scottoline (Fiction/on my bookshelf)

E Echoes of Exodus: Tracing Themes of Redemption Through Scripture (Theology)

F Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott (Goodreads 2019 Choice Awards - Young Adult)

G A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore (from the NY Times 100 Most Notable Books 2009)

H How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich (on Marriage)

I In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex by Nathaniel Philbrick (History)

J Jackpot by Nic Stone (Young Adult)

K The Key on the Quilt by Stephanie Grace Whitson (First in a series)

L Larkspur Cove (#20 on my “to-read” list)

M Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (Book on my “to-read” list the longest)

N New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp (Devotional)

O One Blood: A Parting Word to the Church on Race by John Perkins (Church/Race)

P Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (Truman Readers Award finalist)

Q Quitter by Jon Acuff (on Career)

R Rethinking Sexuality by Juli Slattery (Spiritual Growth and Ministry)

S Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen (Fiction)

T Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Love and Loss by Matthew Logelin (Book to Movie in 2020)

U The Ungrateful Refugee by Dina Nayeri (Non-Fiction/on my bookshelf)

V The Vengeance of Mothers by Jim Fergus (Sequel - Fiction)

W Laura Ingalls Wilder: A Writer’s Life by Pamela Smith Hill (Biography)

X Exalting Jesus in James by David Platt (Bible Study)

Y You Will Know Me by Megan Abbott (Fiction - First I’ve read by this author)

Z The Librarian of Auschwitz by Antonio Iturbe (Because there’s a Z in the title/Translation)

Ringing in 2020

Today I dust off the blog.  It's past time.

A writer needs to write in order to process thoughts, feelings, and dreams, and I've been neglecting that a bit...although I did pick up a new journal in November and have been putting pen to paper more.  Oh, blessed day!

The year 2019 is now in the history books.  As always, it was filled with the hard, the fun, the mundane, and the joyful.  Pick a day and chances are it was filled with all of these things at some point.

Our family did suffer a great loss with the passing of my father-in-law right at the beginning of the year, and it has taken every month after that to adjust to the new normal without him.  

What have I learned from this?  The older I get, the more I realize that maintaining relationships is critical.  We're not guaranteed another day.  Will those in my life be better off for having known me?  As those in my life go through difficult times (everyone does), my prayer and hope is that I will be compassionate, patient, and loving...even when it's inconvenient for me.

All of that to say, I hope to be more present in 2020.  I'm not a resolution maker, but I am a goal-setter.  I'd like to put my phone down more (and in another room) and be deliberate about spending time with others.

I wish you a better 2020 than 2019!